Life can hit hard. Sometimes you get knocked down when you don’t even see it coming. Some are cheap shots, some are glancing blows and some can bring you to your knees. When this happens, it’s not about how hard you get hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit, but still find the strength to keep moving forward. It’s about having the will to continue in spite of the obstacles.
What’s holding you back? A relationship breakup, job stress, or health issue can stop you from moving forward in life…but there are ways to get unstuck! These ten tips for succeeding despite yourself are inspired by quotations from one of the most successful businesswomen in America: Mary Kay Ash, founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics.
“Don’t limit yourself,” said Mary Kay Ash. “Many women limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.”
What you think you can do — what you focus on — will become reality! You don’t need special equipment or a lot of money to succeed in life…but you do need some basic tools. Read Simple Acts of Moving Forward: 60 Suggestions for Getting Unstuck
for practical ways to let go of whatever is holding you back. And, check out these ten ways to get unstuck…
for practical ways to let go of whatever is holding you back. And, check out these ten ways to get unstuck…10 Ways to Get Unstuck and Move Forward – Mary Kay Ash
1. Figure out what’s holding you back. Maybe you’re depressed because of a business failure, health issue, financial problem, or relationship breakup. Or, maybe you can’t seem to improve your self-confidence or maintain a happy, positive mood. The first step to lgetting unstuck is to identify what’s stopping you from moving forward.
2. Be objective about sources and solutions. Whatever the source of your rut is,remember that there are ways to overcome it! Different problems have different solutions, but there are some general rules for getting unstuck. For instance, don’t focus on what you lack (eg, someone to love, or a business of your own). Instead, focus on what you want more of in your life (love, success, acceptance, freedom). Be specific about what you want, and try not to get caught up in negative or critical emotions. Take a step back and look at your life with objective eyes.
3. Look for the possibilities in your problems. In Outliers: The Story of Success, Malcolm Gladwell writes, “Sometimes constraints actually create success. Not being able to swim made me run. And running taught me the discipline I needed as a writer.” What are you learning from the obstacles in your life? Are your problems — job stress, relationship breakups – leading you in an unexpected direction? The sooner you accept the lessons, the faster you’ll overcome your obstacles and move forward in life.
4. Work with your personal advantages. I’m a big fan of “to do” lists and I love checking off each task when I accomplish it. That’s one of my personal advantages, and I use it to make my business successful. For instance, one of my goals is to earn $50,000 a year as a blogger. Part of achieving that goal involves writing two blog posts a day. To stay motivated to write every day, I make a list of the blog posts I need to write at the beginning of each week…and the satisfaction of checking off those “articles to write” makes me feel happy and motivated enough to do it again and again and again! What are your strengths or personal advantages? Put them to work for you.
5. Ask for help moving forward in life. What do you need to do to get unstuck? Ask your family, friends, and colleagues for help. Do you need financial advice? Time? Resources? Motivation? Support? Be specific about what you need, identify who can help you, and be clear about what you’d like them to do. Mary Kay Ash said, “Honesty is the cornerstone of all success, without which confidence and ability to perform shall cease to exist.” Be honest about what you need.
6. Surround yourself with successful women. Who do you admire? Which family member, friend, or colleague is in the position you’d like to be in? To soak up the habits of highly succesful women, stay connected to women who achieved their goals — even if you don’t know them personally, even if they aren’t alive! The attitudes, values, habits, and thoughts of women who soar will rub off on you. Also, stay away from people who hold you back or aren’t supportive.
7. Focus on one step at a time. If your number one goal is to start your own homebased business, don’t move towards a competing goal. For instance, you can’t put all your energy towards working from home while you’re planning a vacation that involves traveling around the world for a year! You can’t move ahead in two directions at once. Focus on “unsticking yourself” from one thing at a time. “So many women just don’t know how great they really are,” said Mary Kay Ash. “They come to us all vogue outside and vague on the inside.” Be concrete and specific about what you want out of life, and how you’ll get it.
8. Expect to do a little work. Bill Gates programmed computers at university for 10,000 hours before he started his own company. Gates is one of the most successful entrepreneurs in recent history (perhaps of all time) — but he spent10,000 hours practicing before he took the leap! That’s 416 days of working around the clock. This tip for letting go of what’s holding you back is from Malcolm Gladwell’sOutliers, and involves practicing your craft. “…[successful people]…simply put in more hours than anyone else,” writes Gladwell.
9. Stay connected to yourself. No matter how you’re planning on getting unstuck, stay open to revising as you go. For instance, you may decide to stop focusing on moving forward in your relationship, and start focusing on moving ahead in your career. That’s okay! Take your nose off the grindstone every so often…look around…and make sure you’re still on the right track. Let yourself make revisions whenever you need.
10. Help other women move forward their lives. When you encourage, educate, and connect with other women, you increase your own dedication, determination, and self-discipline! You feel good about yourself, which increases your motivation and gives you the self-confidence you need to move forward in life. It feels great to help women move towards their dreams, and it’s good karma!
“Those who are blessed with the most talent don’t necessarily outperform everyone else,” said Mary Kay Ash. “It’s the women with follow-through who excel.”
SYAMSUL BIN MOHTAR
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